in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
