Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
