im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
What a dumb baby whore.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
