I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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