the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
