it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
