Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
