windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize