Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
