Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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