If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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