Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
