she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
