i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
well you can't waste a boner
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
