The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
