careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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