Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
