Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
