I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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