I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
