11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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