She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
