i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
