Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
