just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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