And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i drank out of a bidet.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize