NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
