Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i've created a new STD.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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