look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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