I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
