He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
