I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i came on her dog
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
