Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
