The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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