five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
