i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize