I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
