D3 body, D1 cock
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
The uberlube is also flammable
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
