i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
