He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
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