if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
