YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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