I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize