you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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