Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
