Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
