Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
