i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
