He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
