He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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