She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize