dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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