Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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