Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It was a blind-side dick pic.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
