my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Are we still banned from the library?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
