i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
