i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
